Monday, April 25, 2016

Let them fail big time!

You heard that right. I mean why not? 
Here's why parents should let or allow their kids to fail. 
1 It will teach them a lesson. Even as adults we fail and then we try again, hoping we won't make the same mistakes. Guide them, but don't point the correct thing to do. 
2 They will learn what's good and what's bad. Of course, if it fails then they would see how that affected their progress/assignment. Take homework for example, if they don't do it then they will have to take up the consequences then they will understand it was a bad idea/decision not to do it. 
3 They will learn to appreciate what they have. Sure there are other ways to teach them that, but since we are on failing why not? If they fail certain privileges will be taken away, that way next time they won't do their best, they'll know what will happen. 
4 Teach them to appreciate the people that are there to help. If as parent tell your child to do his homework and he won't do it, then next time he won't have anyone there and it sure sounds like fail. 

Monday, February 24, 2014

Not a choice, but a must

I would have chosen normal vaginal birth a thousand times over a c-section. 
I have two beautiful and healthy children, thank God for that. 
My first one was a normal vaginal delivery and I am glad it was that way. Even though it was an induction, because he just wasn't moving as much as he should and freaked me out, he was delivered at 38w and 3days and was a healthy baby boy. 
The process of delivering was an easy one, went in to check his heart beat and when they checked me I was 2cm dilated   So they called my ob and she suggested, since I am already dilated and worried abt his movement, why not induce, I was already 38w 3days along. 
So she came and broke my waters and gave me some meds for contractions. That happened at arnd 10pm. Shortly after, arnd 12midnight my contraction were getting stronger and more frequent. The pain was still manageable.( I have to mention that on that day my last meal was something light for lunch and that was it.) Arnd 3am the contractions were giving me the pain of my life, on a scale from 1-10 I was at an 7-8. Being tired and so damn hungry, and after trying to sleep through the pain (I did manage to sleep here and there) ,they wouldn't give me anything to eat or drink, I asked for and epidural at 3am. 
Was happy the pain would go away soon. 
Yeah, right!!!! 
I had to wait an hour for it. While waiting I tried to comfort myself by breathing slowly and calmly. Finding comfortable positions was helpful as well. 
Finally arnd 4am they came and put in the epidural and my pain was zero again. 
After 3 more hours I was fully dilated and happy to start pushing. He came out at 8:17am like a "bullet", fast without me pushing his body out. He was clean and cute and crying just enough for us to know he is ok. 
I was cut down there so my ob was stiching me while I was trying to breastfeed a totally sleepy baby. 
Overall this was a pleasant and unexpected experience for me. 
With my daughter was totally different. 
I had to have a c-section, cause all my pregnancy she was a breech baby, not even once changed her position. 
Close to my 37th week I started to feel some contractions, not many but definitely there. When my ob checked me during my next visit, she said I was 1cm dilated. Unexpected!!!! So many things were abt to happen that month, but her birth wasn't one of them, not in my mind at least. My mom and brother were coming to visit, my husband was going to his sister's wedding in the Philippines, my doc was going on a holiday. 
Few days before her birth, doc checked again and she was still breech and me dilated close to 2cm. At this point we knew we will have a c-section, we just didn't know it will be so early. Hubby leaving on 19th afternoon, mom and brother coming on 18 and my doc leaving on 22nd December, I pretty much didn't have much choice. By delaying it would have meant my hubby could not have been there for his daughter's birth, and would have been done by a different doc, most definitely , an emergency c-section. 
So we decided to go w 19th dec. 
(Till this day I keep asking and wondering what a birth date 19th, but then it's her health and mine that matter) 
We went to the hospital early morning and went through registration and all. Went to the room I would be staying after my c-section and waited for people to start coming in and prep me. Wheeled me down to ot and more pushing and pulling there, and they weren't even started w my c-section. IV's and epidural and blood pressure checking, etc. finally my doc came in and she told me as soon as she cuts through my tummy and all, my husband can come in. And so he did abt 15 later. Didn't feel a thing of what she was doing there. Then, suddenly heard a cry, OMG, there she was my beautiful squishy baby girl. Once they wrapped her in a towel they brought her to me and when I smelled her I felt soooo good. She had the sweetest smell. Have never smelled that before. Took some pics w her and then they whisked her away for cleaning and others. My hubby went w her and took some more pics. After wheeling me back to my room everything was peace and lots of silence. Later on my hubby came and stayed w me for a while. My uterus started contracting and felt some pain. Still ok. Then he left to bring over my mom, brother and my son. From the time he left till he came back I felt I am delivering another child. The pain was worse and worse by the minute. I couldn't even find a comfy position cause I was still numb from the waist down so I was crying instinctively without stopping. I called the nurse and asked what was happening, as no one told me I had an IV w meds for contracting my uterus. I told her to reduce it or to increase my pain meds cause I felt I am going to die there. So for abt 3-4 hours was in deep deep pain, worst ever. And then slowly slowly was easing and I started to feel better and better. 
Finally they brought my baby girl and I was able to hold her from a lying position, wasn't even able to breastfeed her so I told the nurses to bottle feed her for me. So happy to finally hold her. She was awaited by so many in my family cause she is the only granddaughter and great-granddaughter. 
My mom, brother and hubby and my ds came shortly and they were so happy to see her. 
I asked to be checked out one day early because I was feeling horrible in the hospital and my hubby was away those days so my mom and brother had to take care of my ds, which missed me like crazy. 
So that is the story of my to births. Like I said, the second one was a must and not my choice. 

Tough day

Saturday, 22nd Feb, was a tough day. With my lo having some tummy trouble and my older one having 40degree fever. 
It's crazy when it happens all at the same time. My lo was screaming her lungs out, am guessing because of her tummy, not sure if colicky or just upset tummy, and my elder one was having high fever, third day in a row. It was lunch time as well. And my older one, Joshua, was hungry and lethargic, sort of. 
Which one should I have attended to first? My head was spinning thinking how am I going to do this? How do I get them both to calm down and feed at the same time? 
Thank God my lo settled easily after abt 30mins of carrying, and my sweet Joshua for being so understanding and patient. 
We got through that day and now I keep wishing and praying that it won't happen again. But hey, when you have two kids, or more, you never know what's in store and how the next day will be. 

Sunday, February 9, 2014

How I got my newborn to sleep at night

I know parents and specially new mothers, struggle w night sleep. It's difficult to put a newborn to sleep at night and even more difficult to stay asleep for at least 2-3 hrs in the first few weeks. I read lots of articles on how to do it and what is the best way and so on so forth. But I guess it's always up to your baby and what parents do. 
My newborn daughter was, I guess I could say, self trained. There were times when she cried and fussed at night. But what I did to make her sleep again was very simple. I never talked to her or sing or look into her eyes. According to an article I read few months back, or maybe years, it says you shouldn't look into your baby's eyes when trying to put him/her to sleep cause it will keep them awake. Not sure of the explanation anymore. Also do not talk to them cause they will take it as a play, or that they have to stay awake and listen to you. Singing it's optional, my daughter just didn't like to sleep w music. She would listen to different songs, not a lullaby, and then I would have to turn off whatever device was playing or she would fuss and start crying. 
Further more, daytime play w you baby, just don't overstimulate him/her which will lead to crying. Observ when your baby is sleepy and try to put him/her in a crib or bed to settle and eventually fall asleep. 
Also, do not turn on a big light in the room, have a lamp or smth small to generate enough light for you to see if changing diaper or feeding. No tv as well 😏. 
It might not work for everybody, but I just wanted to share my experience. 
Good luck to all parents!!!

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Motherhood teaches you many things

It is true. You think you know everything, and that you can fix and solve and answer to anything in this life. Whatever may come to you it's solvable.
Well, big news to all those who never experienced parenthood or motherhood. You get stuck. Literally stuck.
From the moment they come into your life till you die. Haven't tried afterlife, but hope they will manage themselves when I won't be around anymore.
I love my son, a lot. More than life, I would do almost anything for him. But he has his own "moments" where he outsmart me or he wishes he would and could. Take for example the time when his father bought a new iPad. He wanted to see and check and press and many more. So we got him some cool nice apps to enjoy and kill the boredom. Well he did more than that. By 2 and a few months he knew the alphabet, he recited it and recognized the letters. By 2 and abt 8-9months he could count to 20 forward and from 10backwards. He knew most colors and shapes and he could do simple puzzles on iPad by the age of three. He wouldn't allow us to show him how it"s done or help him when he couldn't do something. He would struggle and scream at himself in rage and anger when he would find a tough one. He ,somehow, got it every time. He did have some really tough times, then he'd come crying and showing his disappointed face to me, and he would ask if I can help.
My point is that you may think they, your kids, have no idea about anything, but you might be surprised to find you were wrong.
They learn faster than you think and they figure things out quicker than you would.
What lesson are you taught out of this? The lesson if independence, let them be, let them experience all sorts of feelings. Let them come ask for help, do not offer right away. You might think you're doing both a favor. For him-he won't feel frustrated or challenged, for you -you won't get to hear the screams and whines.
It is a good short-term solution. In a long-term it's a wrong one. You do not want to facilitate his easy way of fixing things by asking you to do it. You wanna challenge his brain, his emotions.